PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Queen Sassy, of the Sass Isles
Sassy
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Post by Sassy on May 26, 2016 0:08:31 GMT
Sassy's writing advice and discussion bonanza
Help with posting, character creation, and writing
Introduction Welcome to Sassy’s Writing Thread! This thread is for anyone who may be on the fence about signing up or posting because they lack confidence, people who are new to writing or roleplaying, or people looking to solidify their skills, tighten their writing, and refine their characters. While the forum is full of and ran by extremely friendly people, I understand that shaky confidence could scare you away from a very fun hobby, and hope I can ease that for you.
First, I’ll go over some core elements of character creation, posting, and writing. After that, the thread will be opened up to people looking to have more questions answered, discuss writing, and ask for help or critique.
Most important note: This thread is a totally optional read and created in whole by me, who is not an admin, though it is posted with their approval. It may get serious and sound like a lecture at times, but remember that the whole theme and environment of the site is for it to be a relaxed place for you to have fun. You do not need to listen to anything I say in order to play or sign up or hang around. Everyone, including me, is way more relaxed than I’m about to come off.
And always remember to have a good time.
But who the hell are you and what gives you the right to give ME advice?
Great question! I’m Sassy, and so far I play the characters Maevia Inclemens, Cadence Avia, and Dullahan. You often see me being snarky in the cbox and occasionally actually doing my job as mod. In truth, I’m just an old lady who likes to talk too much. I have a BA in Fiction Writing, and have written things from short stories to nonfiction to comics to screenplays. Nothing published, but that’s more due to me deciding it wasn’t a CAREER choice. More importantly, I did a buttload of editing and peer review, which is more my thing.
That said, I’m not an authority on writing, and not pretending to be. This is an advice thread I’m making based on my experiences and that’s all it’s meant to be. I’m sure some of you are more experienced writers than I, and most of you are certainly more experience RPers. If you think I’m talking out my arse, ignore me, or strike up a discussion.
I encourage everyone to take whatever I say with a grain of salt and NOT accept my words without question.
Thread Rules There aren’t a lot but they’re important.
-You are strongly encouraged to make an OOC account for participating here, but not required. OOC accounts are very useful to have around, so you may as well.
-Off-topic chatter should be kept to cbox or PMs. We’re a casual thread but there IS a central topic.
-Respect is paramount. I have zero tolerance for disrespect or insults. You won't be allowed here and may be subject to suspensions or bans from the forums.
-If you ask for critique, expect fair and honest criticism. Do not take it as a personal attack, get hostile, or throw a fit. If you disagree, state your thoughts respectfully. Honesty, is how you improve; white lies and sparing feelings reinforces bad habits. If you want to be yes-man'd or validated with nothing but praise, this isn't the place to ask.
-If you wish, you may ask for open critique or just some from me. You may also PM me. If you want a forum friend to critique for you and nobody else, you may still use this space for it.
-If you are asked to GIVE critique, there is even less than zero tolerance for author insults and personal attacks. Be honest, be fair, be SPECIFIC, and don’t hijack their writing with your own (ie: "She shouldn't be X, she should be Y, that's way cooler.")
-This is for character creation, peer review, and light editing for Inertia only (plus general writing questions and discussion). I don’t have the time to proofread your posts, unfortunately. If you want edits or copyedits for a personal project, message me and we can talk commission.
-This is something I am doing with my free time. I ask for patience, as I am only human, and have posts, mod duties, and life responsibilities to balance.
-Admins have the final say above everyone here (including me) with regards to rules. Contact them if you believe I am not handling issues correctly, or take issue with me.
-Have fun! We’re a laid back bunch and roleplay is always, always meant to be fun for everyone above all else.
Contents
OP- Intro, About Me, Thread Rules
1st Post- Character Creation [CC01]
-Brainstorming and Developing Character Ideas [CC02]
-Application, step-by-step [CC03]
-Focusing on Interaction [CC04]
-Avoiding Gary Stus/Mary Sues and other Cliches [CC05]
-Closing Notes [CC06]
2nd post- Posting and Writing [PW01]
-Getting Your Feet Wet- Initiating, Plotters, and Cbox [PW02]
-Hitting Word Minimum (Writing content tips) [PW03]
-Small Steps for Big Writing (Writing general tips) [PW04]
-Having Fun, Playing Nice [PW05]
-Closing Notes [PW06]
3rd Post- Reserved for FAQs, Resources, and other contributions by members [FRC01]
(C) ELLIE @ GANGNAM STYLE |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Queen Sassy, of the Sass Isles
Sassy
Global Moderator IS OFFLINE
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Post by Sassy on May 26, 2016 0:27:32 GMT
Character Creation, Brainstorming, and Refining [CC01]
Brainstorming and Developing Concepts Further [CC02]
Have an idea for a character already? Awesome! Don’t? Also awesome! Let’s go over some ways to grab new ideas.
Think of a one-line summary for your character, then build from that.
Examples:
“A runic student who sympathizes with Magi and fights for peace but is also loyal to her school and peers”
“A human conman who wants to use his charisma to secure a profitable crime syndicate, but got in over his head when he jilted a powerful organization”
“A disgraced hunter trying to get back into Kalidas’s good graces, but cannot bring himself to kill innocent Magi”
“An earth magi architect who is working on building safe haven towns for Magi and Cyborgs, but struggles with red tape and government interference.”
“A girl who had bionic parts necessary to live, but is disgusted with her form and wishes to be a runic student someday.”
You’ll find that these basic taglines for your character focus on the key concepts: what they are, their goals, and conflicts they may have along the way. Notice that they all have a "but" clause; this is common in screenwriting pitches; the first part is "who I am," and the second part is "what is my main problem." This will give you direction. Try to keep it concise; the other details that make up your character (demeanor, sexuality, gender identity, powers, etc) will come later.
Decide how you want to play your character. This is important, since you’re going to have to stick to this personality, and it drives you in your overall arc and thread-by-thread reactions. Questions to consider:
Do I want to fight, or be more peaceful? What do I depend on to solve my problems: fast-talking? Friends? Weapons and magic? Intimidation? Bargaining? Money? Running doesn't count; while it may be your go to, what's your solution when you can't?
What drives your character? Power? Money? Desire for peace? Self-perfection? Searching for answers? Justice? Religion? Knowledge?
What’s your ultimate end goal? You should have one that’s not attainable right away. Extermination of a faction or race? Control of a business? Fame? Love? Academic breakthroughs?
How do I interact with people on a daily basis? Friendly? Hostile? Begrudgingly? Do I joke or am I serious? Do I seek validation? Attention? Sex? Friends?
If you’re still at a loss, post here for ideas or chat with people in cbox! We love brainstorming.
Application, step-by-step tips [CC03]
Pull up the app and follow along. My first bit of advice? Make an account with your character’s name, and post it in the WIP thread, even if it’s untouched. That’s a great way to take the plunge in, and then people can see it to help you better! It’s also great because you can write down your ideas as you have time, and edit/add/remove bits as ideas come to you. There’s no rush; take weeks to finish your character, if you like.
Also, don’t be afraid to look at other apps for inspiration or guidance!
Likes/Dislikes/Strengths/Flaws/Traits
This is a really important section, as it’s KEY to know these things clearly, because this is how you’ll interact with people, events, conflict, etc.
-Give yourself more flaws than strengths; it’s a common problem to focus on the good and not the bad, but the bad is what’s more interesting; it creates conflict and tension, and helps avoid being overpowered or perfect. What’s more, you’ll find you have a much more fun and interesting time with a flawed character than one who never experiences challenges.
-Avoid conflicting statements. Quiet and social? Mean but kind? Rude but friendly? Hardly makes sense, right? Why do people do this? My theory: they forget that they’re listing their BASELINE personality, and are trying to account for specific scenarios. Yes, your personable, kind character may just be rude to say, Magi, but that’s a specific scenario. In this case, you would want to say that you’re kind, but then perhaps in flaws, you could say “racist” instead of rude, as that is not directly conflicting (how many of us know this type of person, after all?) If you’re quiet normally but social around friends, say that you’re Quiet, and then put something like “Comfortable around friends” instead of just “talkative.” If you're a joker but serious in combat, "Joker" is your baseline, "focused in combat" is better than "serious" to followup. Make sense?
Personality
This is where you can expand on the list. You’ll firstly want to detail what you’ve said. Try to avoid conflicting statements where you can, but this is the spot where you can sort of explain how you’re kind and also racist, etc. This will give you an idea on how to play your character, and how people can expect to interact with you. This is leagues more important than appearance or biography, in my opinion.
Focus on HOW your character is X trait. How are you kind, or cruel, or lazy; how do you express it? Three kind people will not express their kindness the same way. How do others see it? Ask yourself “what type of person am I? Am I the type to give money to the homeless person, or take them for a lunch and talk with them? Would I give my life for a stranger, or only a friend?” Expanding in this way means you’ll meet the word minimum with little trouble while having a solid foundation for roleplaying.
Appearance
In my opinion, new writers want to focus on this way more than necessary. I’m going to tell you a secret: nobody is going to see your character exactly how you do. You can type 10,000 words (please don’t) and yet everyone will picture them differently. 99% of the time, people are just gonna go with your FC.
So what should you focus on? Start with physical looks that aren’t covered by your FC: height/weight/build, Magi features (wings, horns, etc), cyborg features, and other defining features (missing limbs, obvious scars/tattoos/markings, etc.) Expand on your FC but try not to divert from its core (hair/eye color, skin tone, etc) since that's how people will be seeing you. If you have a black-haired FC and list white hair, most of the time people will forget that detail.
Please do not fall into a common trap: flowery, long descriptions. Your app is your character outline; people are going to read it, reference it, and have to remember it. Adding unnecessary words can make that difficult. That may be your preferred way to write, but for the app, try to be concise. “Black, feathered hair” gives us an image. “Delicate hair, much like fresh charcoal in a barbeque grill, which flowed and danced with angelic grace in a light breeze, giving the image of a young raven in a warm, spring sky to all who saw it” is, well, not necessary; it gives us a clear picture, sure, but in the end we’re gonna see it like the first line.
Chances are, you aren’t hitting word minimum yet. So what else? Think a little more than a physical picture; see your character in motion. (Even if you have hit minimum, this is totally helpful for you).
How do they walk? Confident? Shy? Slumped, or straight and professional?
How’s their hygiene? Makeup?
What kind of expression do they normally wear? Scowl? Smiling? Bored? Sleepy? Wide-eyed?
Are they constantly looking around? Are they smug? Are they reserved? Are they intimidating? Do they act like they're always being chased, or act like they'll hit the first person who says the wrong thing?
Do they seem fragile? Dainty? Strong? Athletic?
Do they seem their age?
These are just some examples, but they all go into how your character is seen by others. If someone saw your character walking by, how would they describe them to someone?
Biography
If there was any time to remember that your app is an outline summary, it’s here.
-Your biography should, at the very least, explain what lead up to this point in your life, how it shaped your character into who they are, and conflicts they experienced.
-Please reference the information thread for setting/history information, or ask an admin to help clarify points for you.
-I sound like a broken record, but BE. CONCISE. This is so important; many, many times for bios I see people “zooming in” on certain moments; often these are fight scenes. We don’t need the blow-by-blow for your history. How did it start, who was involved, and what was the outcome? That is not to say you can’t be detailed!
Use my Cadence as an example: the details I give are either relevant to who she is now (her stage name’s origin, her feather coloration, what drives her to music, her current “family”) or very brief (“Everyone scattered during the night under the call of 'Hunters!'” a zoom-in on a pivotal moment, but it’s quick. I do not set the scene for her sleeping, the layout of the camp, the exact time and weather, and so forth).
-Focus on moments that are important, and summarize time that is not.
-Think of it as a way to explain why your character is who they are: what made them racist? Why did they shun Arithelia? Why do you want revenge so bad? How come this person is so bad at socializing? What gave you PTSD? Why do they want to find love so badly?
Family/Relationships
Not much to talk about here. Consider avoiding the “my family was killed” trope unless it’s going to deeply affect your character; obviously, it’s not unreasonable (and if you’re a Magi, probably likely), but the more family you have, the more plot points and conflict your character has available. Don’t have them dead just because you don’t want to think about them. You don't need to make them a vital part of your day-to-day.
Focusing on Interaction [CC04]
I want to make this its own section so it doesn’t get glossed over, as it’s very important. Roleplaying is all about interaction; people need to be able to act, interact, and react with your character in order to progress threads. This is why you hear me talking about conflict a lot in this section; what drives every action for characters in books, movies, games, and stories in general? The conflict! Without conflict there is no story. And so without conflict, there won't be many interesting threads. Not every thread or development has to be conflict; your characters (and readers for stories) need breaks, and we have many people doing open threads just for fun. But if you have flaws, and goals, and conflicts driving your character in the background, you get a sense for how they act; it helps you get in their head, and figure out where they wanna go next with their life and why.
It is absolutely possible to have a good character that’s hard to thread with; Maevia, before I reworked her, is a good example. She was well-rounded, interesting, flawed… and impossible to play with, because she was a recluse. With some slight tweaks, I maintained the core of who she is, but now gave her reasons to be out and about, which makes interacting with her easy.
Be aware of this if you have an extremely passive, antisocial, or reclusive character. Make sure they have a reason to interact with other characters, and be prepared to be the one asking others for threads. If you want to play the sour apple who broods in a bar corner menacingly, don’t expect people will want to walk on up to you.
I will cover it in the next section more in detail, but remember that you will need to give your RP partner(s) something to work with when you post.
Avoiding Gary Stu/Mary Sue syndrome, and other clichés [CC05]
Disclaimer: this is in no way meant to say “this is bad, never do this, your character is lame,” or act like a gatekeeper.
For those unfamiliar with the terms, Stus/Sues are characters with few or no shortcomings, aptitude in many things, generally flawless, perfect, and… completely maddening to see. They’re boring for everyone except the player. It also links with being overpowered. Some signs that your character may be a Stu/Sue:
-No flaws, or none that impact the character (fear of oceans, but you always are in the desert. Allergic to pineapple (easily avoided). Can't do [specific action that's easily avoided, like cartwheels], etc.
-Jack-of-all trades (and extremely good at all or most of them)
-Always rational, reasonable, and in total control of their emotions at all times
-Too many strengths
-Always resolves conflicts in their favor
-Never really in danger, nothing to risk or lose, seems to always have the upper hand
-Too many perfect traits (beautiful, loved by everyone, legendary warrior, genius, etc)
It’s not always intentional; sometimes, it’s an indicator that the character is undeveloped or not focused enough. If your character appears on this list, consider going back and giving them more flaws and failures, or refining them so you know what exactly they are and are not capable of. I recommend you talk to the more veteran writers and players (Rinny, Bone Dry, myself, Psyche, etc) for assistance.
Clichés are an interesting thing in writing. On one hand, they’re tired, boring, and expected. On the other, they can be the basis for an actually interesting character. A boring character IS a cliché; an interesting character is beyond it. You can pick an app at random and easily attribute at least one cliché to it, but you’ll find that they have traits and personality well beyond those narrow confines.
In either case, I’m gonna throw out some overly-cliché character types and traits that seem to be more common in roleplaying, and some ways to expand the character idea.
-The Sour Apple (The brooding person, often found in corners of bars, probably a soldier or mercenary of some sort, has a secret sensitive side and/or dark history, tries to be mysterious, but comes off as just really grumpy and generally won’t find many interactions)
Potential solutions: Don’t brood, remember that people aren’t going to be intrigued by your ~mysteriousness~, have traits that encourage socialization or action, stop using 90-00’s Shonen anime as your character base, try to do something unexpected (Instead of the brooding "seen too much" war vet, try the war vet who still saw too much, but instead of brooding, they do something to keep their mind off it, like gardening, or sewing, or music, or volunteer work)
-The Prodigy (A young character who is somehow an expert at several things; 16 year-olds being the strongest mages, 17 year-old master warriors, 8 year-olds that cure cancer. Bonus: some unique object, prophecy, or event that grants them this power, aka a shoddy attempt to justify their Stu)
Potential Solutions: Remember that it takes 7-11 years to become an expert at something, let alone be the most powerful, try not to be born under some mystical conditions that grant you superpowers, develop the character so they focus beyond that one thing, age up your character
-The rAndUm!!1 xD (character who has multiple conflicting traits, changes personality frequently, tries to be LOL!RANDOM! for the sake of humor, is only found amusing by character’s player, no real personality, goals, or motives to speak of, tries to act very “Cheshire Cat” type of smug, as if they always have the upper hand)
Potential Solutions: Often the result of a loose character concept that was never refined; hit up the drawing board and prepare to redo your app, find and remove personality conflicts, look at other fun and funny characters as examples, and give yourself some sort of goal.
-The Mentally Ill (can sometimes be The Random. This describes not every mentally ill character, but rather a character played by a person who does not know anything about the illness; confusing bipolar with schizophrenia, not understanding panic attacks or anxiety fully, romanticizing depression as some dreary, poetic emo disorder, no idea what causes and then triggers PTSD, etc)
Potential solutions: Don’t. This can be incredibly offensive and upsetting to people with these disorders. If you want your character to have a mental illness, talk to someone (or several people) with these illnesses, and do your research. The popularized “media” notion of mental illness is often extremely incorrect and downright rude. This also goes for sexuality and gender identity: if you know nothing about trans people, or asexuals, or genderfluidity, don't do this without talking to those people beforehand.
-The Reference (obviously just a carbon copy of a popular character from a videogame, movie, cartoon, comic, etc)
Potential Solutions: Use the character as inspiration, then make it your own. Nobody wants to play with Cloud, or Altair, or Master Chief, or Darth Vader, or Bella, or Batman, or Naruto, or Korra, or… you get my point. Don’t copy the character, but feel free to steal some ideas and traits from them; you may be used to this since there are media-based RPs, but this is an original setting
Character Creation Closing Notes [CC06]
Despite the “don’ts” I’ve listed, your character is your own. I’m not trying to dissuade you. The point of this is to try to give you some direction to go in, as well as help you develop a well-rounded character that you find fun to play, and that other people also find fun to play with.
Look at the accepted apps: is this advice heeded by everyone? Nope. Is it always heeded by me? Probably not. Are they good characters? Absolutely. We have all types of people, from pacifist performers to terrorists and bumbling goofs to professional businesswomen. Any idea you come up with has potential to be a real character in the story of Inertia.
And as always, the goal here is for everyone here to have fun.
(C) ELLIE @ GANGNAM STYLE |
|
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Queen Sassy, of the Sass Isles
Sassy
Global Moderator IS OFFLINE
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Post by Sassy on May 26, 2016 0:48:17 GMT
Posting and Writing [PW01]
Wow, you’re still around even after my grumpy ass shook a cane at you about making characters? Hot dang, let’s get to the life of it all then: the writing. You don’t need to be a professional or even experienced writer to participate here. Maybe you’re totally green, or looking to shore up your skills, or just new to the format of roleplay. Let’s go over some basics.
Getting Your Feet Wet- Initiating, Plotters, and Cbox [PW02]
Before we actually write, you need an opportunity to do so. So what are your options?
-Create an open thread for anyone to join
-Post in threads that are marked open- these are made available to anyone, and are a good opportunity to get some posts in. Don’t be afraid to post even if people have been going back and forth.
-Post in an event thread! I'm not sure why people seem to miss this bit. Event threads are interesting settings that may also come with rewards. If you're really nervous about making your first post, consider it here; they're pretty low-pressure.
-Plot out a closed thread with someone: the involved parties will talk via PM or messaging, and sort of outline the setting and general direction of the thread. At the time of writing, most threads are like this.
Open threads are more or less self-explanatory. If you’re nervous, PM the thread creator and see if they’re open to you (they generally will be, and will probably be ecstatic to have more participants. I know I would be, but some people operate on a "claimed" system).
Closed, plotted threads involve contacting someone else. Scary! Nah, we’re a friendly sort here. But how do you go about it?
-Post in the character’s Plotter thread with an idea.
-PM the character and ask for a thread (with an idea)
-Wait for someone to contact you or post on your plotter (It will happen, but maybe not as often as you hope, especially if you’re a shy, antisocial, or reserved character)
-Chat it up with us in the cbox! That’s the most casual area of the site. Chill out with us and pitch some thoughts; someone will probably go “hey that’s interesting, let’s go somewhere with that.”
When contacting someone else, be polite, and be open! It’s a discussion, not a demand. Also pitch your idea at that time, so they know exactly what you’re asking. They’ll have their input, and eventually y’all will come up with an idea that you both like. If they decide they don’t like the idea, then accept that with grace and hit up someone else.
If you’re itching to post, then prepare to be the one to reach out.
Hitting Word Minimum with no stress (General writing content tips) [PW03]
It's 300 right now, always subject to change. That may seem like nothing to some, and daunting to others. So how can you go about never struggling to hit it again?
-Solid character creation! Your character, if rounded out well, should not really lack for dialogue or actions, which gives you a good base to work with.
-If setting the scene with an opening post, describe the area. What time of day? Inside or outside? What does the immediate area look like? Is it crowded and noisy or empty and serene?
-Remember the senses when your write: what does the air smell like? What can you hear, or not hear? If you're eating/drinking, what's it like? Even a sentence or two about each can really fill out a post, and create more immersing visuals.
-Action and interaction. Even if you're not yet interacting with a player, what are you doing, and what is the reaction of people around you? Are you interacting with an NPC?
-What's on your character's mind? How do they feel? What are they preparing to do next?
-Dialogue! What gestures does your character do? Do they wave their hands? Sit down? Punch a wall?
-Sometimes you haven't been given much to work with. Just do your best.
Given all that, and once you get in the groove of writing, you should have no problems! Practice does make perfect, after all. These are just good things to keep in mind, and maybe they'll come out a little clunky at first: that's fine! Everyone's been there! Keep at it, and soon you'll find your writing voice, and be able to weave in these things seamlessly.
Something that also works I guess but I don't personally care for: Ridiculously long descriptions of simple things. This is mostly my personal dislike of the style, so I won't say it's wrong. Just remember that your posts should be accessible for readers and players; nobody's impressed that you have a thesaurus. But if flowery prose is your style, hey, rock it. I can certainly respect it, and your writing voice is your own.
Small Steps for Big Writing [PW04]
This is more with the technical side of writing: word choice, sentence structure, etc.
-SHOW, DON'T TELL. This is the biggest one. “Amy sat at the bar, depressed.” Wow, thrilling. “Amy sat at the bar with her head in her hand, holding back tears. Why did he say that?” Hmm, better. “Amy leaned on the bar with her head in her hand and three empty shotglasses in front of her. She had managed to stop the tears with slow breaths, in and out, in and out. His words still echoed in her head: 'I have never loved you.'” Ah, there we go. Notice how work count goes up, the scene is more clear, the emotions are expressed, and yet it still feels tight.
Show us that your character is sad, or depressed, or angry, or nervous. What ACTIONS do they do? How do they EXPRESS it? How do they look to an outside observer? Even small gestures go a long, long way: “He was frustrated” versus “He kicked the broken car and screamed;” the reader can TELL he's frustrated! Try going through your writing and actively looking for places where you've told us how they feel, and then replacing it with small actions. You may even learn new things about your character!
-Focus more on content than grammar, and just try your best with the latter. If you're really self-conscious about it, type your posts into a word program and use the spellcheck and such. OpenOffice is a free word program with these features. Also, don't be a grammar jerk to others, thanks.
-Sentence length: A great way to improve the flow and impact of your writing is to vary the length; a long sentence, then a shorter sentence, etc. It makes it feel less like an essay. Consider:
She sat down, removed the violin from its case, and sat upright. She looked around, smiled at the crowd, and played a note.
Versus
She sat down, removed the violin from its case, and sat upright. She looked around. With a smile at the crowd, she played a note.
Do you feel that the second sentence flows a little better? The first, to me, feels like just a list of events. In the second, the added pauses keep my attention. I feel that she actually pauses to look around. Try it out!
-Try to avoid accidentally using the same word twice in a sentence accidentally. I'm very guilty of this (and you know if you read my posts). Even within 2-3 sentences, it can feel weird to see the same word twice, especially with verbs.
-Ease up on the adverbs (-ly words, such as gently, loudly, quickly). Most writers I know view it as a horrible sin. Me? Eh, whatever. Use them less, though, and I guarantee you'll feel your writing improve. Why are these words such a bad thing? Well, they're viewed as redundant, don't add much visual, and can often be awkward to read (try reading them out loud in the context of a paragraph). But we're keeping it fun and casual here, so everyone does it to some degree.
-Said is fine. This is a newbie mistake I see a LOT. They see that they used “said” too many times, and look for words to replace it (giggled, whispered, howled, hissed). Here's the thing: said is such a common word that people barely notice it. Don't feel like you need to constantly switch it. Please. Your writing can become a trainwreck before you know it.
So how do you get emotion across? Gesture. Watch:
“The car isn't here,” Kelly exclaimed.
“That's because that bastard took it,” Nick replied.
“Don't call him a bastard,” Kelly growled.
“Try and stop me,” Nick threatened, pointing a gun at her chest.
Versus
Kelly snapped her head around the empty lot. “The car isn't here!”
Nick clenched his fist and said “That's because that bastard took it.”
Kelly locked her eyes to Nick's, and took a menacing step towards him. “Don't call him a bastard,” she said.
Nick clicked the safety off the gun and leveled it to Kelly's chest. “Try and stop me,” he said.
The first one falls pretty flat. Even when you see “growled” and “exclaimed,” it's not quite painting a picture in your head, is it? In the second one, the scene is much clearer, as is the way they are interacting and saying their words. So what changed?
I used “said” or didn't use dialogue tags at all (Personally, I find them unnecessary). I added gesture to the scene, so we could clearly see it. I kept gesture as its own sentence, too: “X said, verbing a noun,” often sounds awkward.
-Read your post back to yourself, out loud. Why out loud? It naturally slows you down, and it’s the best way to find misplaced words, awkward phrasing, and redundancies.
-Remember when I said show, don’t tell? Just reminding you, because it’s important.
-Know the rules so you can break them. No doubt you’ve noticed that I don’t use perfect grammar; I’m freer with my punctuation, and use sentence fragments often. I like to do these things for effect, but I know what the “correct” rules are. If you don’t know the rules and just ignore them willy-nilly, chances are the only effect you’ll have is making people cock their heads as they try to make sense of your sentence. But if done right, a series of sentence fragments can portray quick, snapping thoughts, and run-on sentences can convey a sense of growing panic and loss of control. I encourage you to experiment with it!
-Realistic dialogue can be hard for some. Dialogue is pretty much the best place to ignore the rules, because people simply don’t talk like that. “Hey, mom, I’m going to the store. Do you want me to pick up anything? I’m buying some shoes.” Sounds stilted, but if that’s the type of robotic dialogue your character uses, it works. For a teen though, probably not so much. “Hey ma, I’m gonna run out real quick and buy some shoes; need anything?” Seems more fitting.
Practice makes perfect for dialogue. Reading out loud helps tremendously.
-Action and dialogue are always, ALWAYS more powerful than long periods of inner thought. Again, show, don’t tell. Since roleplay is so action-reaction based; your participants need things to work from. That said, punctuating your posts with sentences of thought is totally reasonable! Most posts will.
-Take inspiration from other posts. Great writers are the best thieves, after all.
-Long paragraphs are daunting and even tiring to read. Try to break them up where it feels natural. Always do a new paragraph for a new person talking (such as an NPC you're controlling)
-Cut superfluous words from your writing. These are unnecessary, redundant, or weak words that dilute your writing. This list includes: Indeed, quite, rather (as a synonym for quite), "would [verb]" (if you're actively doing it), attempted (if nothing stops the attempt), really, very, just, up/down (I stood up could be I stood), wonder/ponder/felt (show, don't tell. I wondered if he was guilty versus was he guilty?), completely (and other -ly words).
Are there exceptions? Yes. Do people use these? Yes. Do I? Yes. Will you improve if you depend on these less and less? Absolutely.
-Post more, and you’ll naturally improve.
-Don’t take anything here too seriously. Few of us are professional or even experienced writers. You’ll always have someone at your level. Nobody’s gonna judge you, just have a good time.
Having Fun, Playing Nice [PW05]
Roleplay is here for fun. But just like any shared place, you have to be mindful of others, who are also here for fun.
-Don’t be an asshole about how others write. It’s really that easy. If you have issues with them being unfair, message an Admin instead of directly attacking them.
-Open-ended posting: this is very important, especially during things like fight scenes. Here is a very good example of this; note how they’re written like “She threw a punch, and if she connected, she would follow it up with several more.” You should leave your actions open to interpretation, unless you plot out these specifics ahead of time and have your partner’s approval. This is the fairest way to handle scenes; if you just declared that you hit time and time again your partner will feel helpless and, well, not have fun. This is actually a site policy, as far as I know.
It’s a common error for newbies, and understandable; you’ve built your character, and love them, and have a picture of how badass they are. Remember that the people you’re playing with ALSO have these feelings for their characters. Roleplay is not a place where you can step on others to try and showcase how cool your character is. The easiest way to avoid this is to build your character with flaws, reference each character’s ability pages in their apps, remember that you’re far from perfect, and that nothing ever goes according to plan.
Aside from overpowered issues, leaving your posts open-ended gives your RP partner much more content to work with for their reply. Do your best to make sure they have a jumping point for their post; ask yourself "if I was going to reply to my own post, where would I start?" If you can't really figure it out, maybe your original post was too final.
I’m not expert on the matter, but I know that Rinny is, and would be more than happy to talk to you about open-ended and fair posting.
-“Playing nice” does not mean you have to play good, law-abiding characters; heck, at the time of writing, we have a terrorist, a womanizer, and a shady information broker. Conflict is the spice of life. And even if you’re “good,” all the ideas here apply to you!
-Remember to avoid Sue/Stu traits while posting, such as being able to solve every problem, never getting tired (esp for Magi), always hitting/never getting hit, and having perfect, ideal reactions.
-You control your character, not theirs. You do not decide how they react or what they do.
That’s… pretty much it for now. Basically? Just be respectful.
Closing Notes [PW06]
Ha, wow, that’s a lot of words! Please don’t take it as though I’m policing you; I’m not gonna go around and talk to you about your posts and whatever, or silently judge you. My advice is being quarantined to this thread for you to try or ignore as you please.
What I hope I did was give you the confidence to give us a go, if you’re on the fence, or inspire you to go post more often, or show you that contacting people to thread with is FUN, not scary.
Now the thread is open for discussion. Have comments? Questions I haven’t addressed? More examples or clarifications? Need help with your character or post? Think I’m an ass? Want to feed my ego? Interested in discussing writing? Post below!
(C) ELLIE @ GANGNAM STYLE |
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