The Inner World of Kai Stiel - Journal/Thoughts

    In a lonely room on the bright side of town, alone in his thoughts; sat a magi scribbling down his thoughts.


“You asked me what God is? Well sit down then.”

“Are you familiar with my main philosophy? Simply put, ‘Everything is nothing’ but ‘Nothing’ is eternity’. Then think of my life, my life in a world that died out before it time, then finding myself spending eternity in faerie only to be spit back out into another dimension too much like home. Since then I’ve traveled to countless worlds and seen various endings. All of them neatly wrapped up like a book. Abrupt and cold. I used to think. “Why would the creator ever stop creating?” Answer: They don’t. All of these dimensions were created with the knowledge of the ones before it. A universal utopia would lead to an unending apocalypse in another world, such was, and is, the way of life.”

“Keep tracing back and what would you find? Who knows. But if you were to keep searching, and pushing, further and further back. Back to the beginning, to the first, to Alpha, you would find the original history of creation. The first draft, the original, in its Un-corrupted text. The basis of what all creation was built on. That is God. The nothing and the everything. All of everything was built on nothing, and thus this nothing, the original world, is everything. Every possibility originates from this place, this being. Closer and further than anything we could compare it to. That is what God is.”

“In another world, I’d have already told you this. In another world, you were the one to tell me. In another world, I would be dead. In another world the converse is true. These worlds are singular, nothing and everything at the same time. Layers and layers of existences parallel to each other. Each one them their own and a copy in the same right. A cruel existence.”

“It is a cold truth, a bitter lie, but pleasant at the same time. Because, in another world, I’m happy.”


A writing prompt I received from my brother on a typical day doing nothing in Dagos.

        What is a god?

I just tweaked the prompt a little to fit my ideals. When I wrote this I was bored out of my mind. Then slowly, I as got more and more into it a figure formed in my mind. I could just imagine this one person, who had traveled between thousands of different world, searching for one where he was happy. (I think I saw it in a movie somewhere). The more I thought about it I couldn't help but think of my brother, who's always caught in some "perpetual state of unhappiness" as he so eloquently put it. At the end of my story I can't help but wonder, what would make Jonathan happy?