PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Sassy
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Post by Caroline Vorlan on Mar 21, 2017 21:26:52 GMT
 Notes Ah, would any OC be complete without debilitating self-hatred? I think not.
| I AM NOT MERCIFUL
I AM NOT KIND
I AM NOT AFRAID
TO MAKE YOU WISH THAT I WAS Caroline smiled at Taavi’s tiny stretch and yawn… and then scrunched up her face at the unexpected lick. “Thanks.” She said, and wiped the moisture from her skin. She sighed; looks like she’d avoid fighting another bear today, thank goodness. She looked at Lelianna’s offered hand with surprise, and then up at her ever-happy face. She took her offer a moment later (and almost pulled the magi down; Lelianna may wrestle bears but Caroline was easily twice the weight of someone her size) and stretched when she stood. “Yes, I was going to sit in the sun while there’s some left,” she said. She avoided Lelianna’s eyes and scratched her upper arm. “I mean, of course; it’s your garden. You don’t need my permission.” She couldn’t say anything else. She did want to spend time around Lelianna; she found herself enjoying it more with each passing day. At the same time… She wasn’t sure. It was hard to say she deserved the magi’s time; a killer shouldn’t be allowed happiness. And yet, if she didn’t enjoy her freedom… they still had her under control, in a sense. It was all very confusing. And the realization that she could have very well killed her? Her brain did a bang-up job of simulating an awful, nauseated stomach that wouldn’t go away so long as she was left to her own thoughts. Still, she forced a smile and a little laugh at the tuckered cubs. “They are active. I wonder where something so small stores so much energy.” They spent a lot of time playing with those cubs, so she’d lose out on some sunlight. That would be fine, probably, if she didn’t go out until later the next day. She was quiet, which wasn’t exactly unusual for the cyborg, but the tension in the air could only be cut by conversation. And unless Lelianna ventured to speak, it would be only the sounds of birds and rustling trees that guided them to the flower field. She brightened up somewhat once they were there. Once she found a good place to lay down, where the sun would linger and few flowers would be crushed, she would take off her tank top to maximize her solar collection; she was less shy about being in her bra around Lelianna (though whether the magi was still shocked was up in the air). Then… flop! Onto her stomach she went, with her arms crossed in front of her to form a barely-comfortable pillow, which she sighed into as soon as she got comfortable. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY West
| I know how to talk to people, I swear! |
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Post by Lelianna Varna on Mar 21, 2017 21:49:23 GMT
► Managing to just barely not get yanked down on top of Caroline by accident, the hermit was still pretty sure something was off about her friend. Slowly it was becoming apparent that the little arm scratch the purplette did indicated some sort of nervousness or other. That and the fact she wasn't looking Lelianna in the eyes also hinted at something bothering her. Once again, the worry Lelianna felt showed through her expression. Only Caroline was doing her best not to look there.
"Well I...I-I wouldn't want to, ah, impose on you if you wanted some time alone." Maybe that was it. Maybe the purplette needed some alone time. Yet she'd said yes so...See this was exactly why Lelianna wasn't good at social things. She had no idea what to do in this situation. Just look at that smile! Just look at that forced little smile! Something was bothering her friend and the magi hadn't a clue what to do to try and soothe her. ugh, was there a manual somewhere she could read on "How to help your friends?" Lelianna certainly would appreciate it.
For now all she could do, or thought so at least, was go with Caroline and maybe find out more. Or at least get Caroline to the point she'd be a little less...tense. So she did comment on the little bears, taking some comfort from their peaceful forms as she replied: "I wish I knew. I'd love to have some of that energy right about now." After that the two set off for the fields. The air was tense between them. Caroline didn't really seem interested in breaking it, and Lelianna wasn't too sure what exactly to say. Instead she focused in on the greenery around them while they traveled. The familiarity of her garden put her a little more at ease. And when the field came into view she too brightened up and relaxed further. It also finally gave her an idea to talk about.
"Oh! Um, how is your flower doing, by the way?" Lelianna asked as she picked a spot relatively close to Caroline, but one that would give her respectful distance to. the hermit really still wasn't sure if her presence was exactly welcome at the time, regardless of the cyborg's answer to her earlier question. Much like Caroline the magi just flopped onto her stomach in the brightly blooming plants, the vegetation shifting just enough to catch her and reduce the hurt. As well as keep the flowers from being crushed. Once there Lelianna let out a tired groan into the ground. "Uggghhhh...cubs."
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Sassy
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Post by Caroline Vorlan on Mar 24, 2017 18:46:00 GMT
Notes "Hey uhhh I could have killed you and that makes me sad" was the alternative to silence.
| I AM NOT MERCIFUL
I AM NOT KIND
I AM NOT AFRAID
TO MAKE YOU WISH THAT I WAS She didn’t say anything to Lelianna’s worry, mostly because she didn’t quite know what she wanted either. In the end, she stuck to her earlier assessment that it was her garden and she could do whatever she liked. Caroline chuckled at Lelianna’s obvious exhaustion. “They seem more than willing to share,” she pointed out. She almost didn’t hear Lelianna’s question, as she was buried in her own arms and taking deep breaths. She opened her eye and twisted her mouth into a hesitant expression. “I’m not sure,” she admitted. “I’m doing what you said, but I think it may be less green than when you grew it. It’s hard to tell; I’m not sure if it’s just me, or if I’m making something out of nothing; I still do not know what is normal for plants.” Well, Lelianna was successful in getting her to talk, and taking her mind off darker thoughts (temporarily, anyway). Still, it didn’t feel natural to her; normally she loved to talk with Lelianna, but right now she couldn’t shake off the cloud that fogged her thoughts. Lelianna’s flop drew a faint smile from the cyborg, at least. It didn’t last long. Should she bring it up to her? Maybe it wasn’t normal; maybe she was malfunctioning or something. Feelings were still a foreign subject to her, despite the progress she'd made in the magi's company. After any talk about the plant, Caroline would stew over what to say and how to say it. She looked over to her companion and let out a deep breath. Maybe … it would be better to keep most of it to herself for now. She definitely wasn't going to bring it up on her own, not at this moment. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY West
| I know how to talk to people, I swear! |
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Post by Lelianna Varna on Mar 24, 2017 20:58:20 GMT
► Less green huh? A pensive look came to the hermit’s face. “Hmmm…So long as it’s getting the right amount of sunlight and water it should be pretty good. It might be the lighting you saw it in.” Surely Caroline hadn’t killed the plant just yet. Well…it very well could be possible but Lelianna still held onto her hope. And even if the cyborg did manage to let the flower die, they’d just try over again. Likely with an even more resilient plant.
Then with that she was on the ground. Only then did she realize just how darn tired she was. Those cubs really had worn her out. Then when Caroline came in and riled them all up again, the magi had gotten even more tired. Really, it was a wonder the redhead hadn’t instantly K.O.’ed when she’d hit the forest floor.
However worry was upsetting her stomach and holding her back from the precipice of sleep. The hermit breathed in and out deeply. Normally she wasn’t one to pry but her head was buzzing with thoughts on the woman laying pretty dang close to her. What had all those facial expression been about? What had that been about not deserving something?
How in the gods’ names was this tired little thing going to articulate all this well with a sleepy, fuzzy mind?
After seeing sleep was definitely not an option, Lelianna Steeled herself to actually ask some questions. She turned her head towards where Caroline was. “…Hey.” She started off lightly before frowning. All she could see was flowers from this view. “Guys…C’mon I’m tryna talk to Caro.” One of her hands slipped up to make a little hand gesture towards the plants. With that the stalks of the flowers shifted, making a little valley between then so Lelianna could actually see Caroline. Spotting her now the magi gave her a tiny wave and a manageable smile. It was…pretty dang obvious from her expression that the magi was only a step or two away from falling asleep.
“Hey.” Repeated the hermit before dropping her hand and her smile. Now it was a concerned frown, mixed with a fight to keep her eyes open and focused. “I don’t want to pry or anything; that’s not nice and all but…How are you flower?” There wasn’t a catch in her voice while she asked it. Until two seconds later when she blinked and realized what she’d said. “No wait…No I mean…I mean ‘feeling.' How are you feeling is what I meant.” With a groan she buried her face into the dirt for a few seconds. Then she turned back to Caroline again. “But yeah; how’re you feeling? You kinda looked sad back there Caro…That’s no good.” She even frowned to emphasize the fact. “Did I do something? I’m sorry…Or was it the cubs? They do like biting…Hey words of advice: never let them get at your toes.” A finger was sort of pointed in Caroline’s general direction. “They love nibbling those.” The hand dropped again. Where was she? Oh yeah. “Yeah…But what’s up?"
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Sassy
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Post by Caroline Vorlan on Mar 28, 2017 14:03:28 GMT
Notes Lelianna is no longer the most awkward creature in the forest
| I AM NOT MERCIFUL
I AM NOT KIND
I AM NOT AFRAID
TO MAKE YOU WISH THAT I WAS “I hope you’re right,” she said regarding the plant, and nothing more. She was worried about it, but she wasn’t going to give up on gardening that quickly. She stayed silent in her basking position, letting out a small sigh at the comforting warmth of sunlight on her back. The heat felt pleasant, and her internals always seemed to behave when she was charging. It was a rare moment when her body felt in harmony rather than at odds, where the gentle hum of her cybernetic systems was in harmony with her thoughts. HeyCaroline turned her head to look at Lelianna, who was … clearly trying to stay awake. She only blinked at her misspoken word. Oh. Feeling. Not flower. Her eye averted at her assessment. It was… obvious, then. She had hoped for once that she was not displaying her emotions correctly, that she had seemed untroubled despite her inner turmoil. She looked back when Lelianna suggested it was perhaps her fault. “No,” she said, certain of at least this. “Not you or them. It’s…” She thought for a long moment. “Complex.” It wasn’t a lie, and really it was the only way she could think to describe it. Her mind was going through the motions and it was not a pleasant feeling. But maybe… she should say a few things. She certainly didn’t want Lelianna thinking it was her fault. She turned her head so her chin rested in her folded arms. “It’s about what I am trying to get away from,” she said. That… didn’t seem like a bad way to put it. “You have only helped me, and I’m grateful. But I… am not a good person, Lelianna. I am trying to do the best I can now, at the very least. I find that it’s… hard to stop dwelling. It’s very confusing. I apologize if I worried you.” She lowered her face into her arms. Gods, even she felt that that explanation was awkward. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY West
| I know how to talk to people, I swear! |
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Post by Lelianna Varna on Mar 28, 2017 14:30:59 GMT
► Yeah sorry Caroline; Lelianna could tell something was wrong.
Even in her drowsy stupor even the hermit could tell that averted eyes (er, eye) conveyed something was up. Clearly, something was up, which made Lelianna fight a little more to stay awake and actually listen to her friend. it was a struggle but a normally passive hermit did not simply pry and then fall asleep.
it wasn't her. Nor the cubs. It was...complex? Lelianna's face screwed up a little in curiosity, but she said nothing just yet. She had a gut feeling Caroline had more to say, and hey look at that she was right for once! Though this time Lelianna almost wished she were wrong. It was upsetting to hear her friend talk about herself like this. The redhead really didn't believe she was a bad person. However...Lelianna knew that people had different pasts. A hermit became so for a reason. Caroline's reason, unfortunately, seemed to haunt her.
"No no it's...You don't have to apologize." Lelianna assured her with a warm (albeit sleepy) smile. There was worry still on her face. "I...Well personally I think you're pretty great. But I guess...I don't know everything about you." She could acknowledge that much, at least. The redhead didn't make it a habit to pry. "I usually don't like prying too much. People come and live out here for their own reasons and...I can respect that." She had her own, didn't she? The redhead curled up a little on her side, the flowers shifting to accommodate her form. "But...Honestly if you ever want to talk I'll listen." A yawn let her and she covered it up as best as she could. "Um...An' I swear I won't be as bad as this. Ugh." She rubbed her face for a second, unsuccessfully trying to chase away her sleepiness.
"But ah...yeah. I guess I'm just saying you're my friend and if you're ever feeling upset or something, I'll listen. Or you could just come out here and..." She shrugged a little from where she was on the ground. Wow wasn't she doing so well in this attempt to be comforting? "But yeah...Worrying about friends is normal. I think. Uh...I haven't had many human friends honestly. Magi either." Now even that managed to earn a little blush from her current state. "But I worry about Skjorn and the others so I figure it's the same."
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Sassy
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Post by Caroline Vorlan on Mar 30, 2017 18:16:17 GMT
| I AM NOT MERCIFUL
I AM NOT KIND
I AM NOT AFRAID
TO MAKE YOU WISH THAT I WAS Personally I think you’re pretty great.Joy, surprise, sorrow, something else: these emotions flared at the words, and she could identify most of them, despite how similar they seemed. There was one that was unfamiliar, and whatever it was, her brain has subconsciously signaled for the wiring under her cheeks to warm, resulting in a short blush. Caroline exhaled sharply. No, she didn’t know everything. “You may not think so if you did,” she said, more to herself than Lelianna. “But I thank you for respecting my privacy.” She turned her head to regard Lelianna once again, this time with a hint of surprise etched on her face. Friend. That was… unexpected. She knew Lelianna considered her a neighbor, and tolerated her presence, but hadn’t expected her to say that, let alone feel that way about her. She was the first magi to consider her anything other than murderer, death given form, an emotionless end to their lives. Caroline wasn’t sure what to say; her brain turned the phrase over and over. On one hand, it was a happy thought. On the other… would she consider her a friend if she knew her past? Right now, she didn’t know. “I am … not used to that,” she said eventually. “I’m unfamiliar with people, and … feelings. But the offer is kind. Thank you, and … I don’t think I would be much help, but I would like to offer the same, should you find that Skjorn is not giving you help you seek.” She closed her eye and her lips slipped into a small smile. Inside she was still troubled, but Lelianna was … comforting. Being around her, even if it was her that Caroline worried about, was calming. Between her presence, and the flowers, and the sun on her back... Caroline was pretty relaxed. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY West
| I know how to talk to people, I swear! |
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Post by Lelianna Varna on Mar 30, 2017 19:06:51 GMT
► Now that first little line just made Lelianna puff up a bit. Maybe it was because she was drifting between the realm of awake and not awake, but hey! Maybe she still would! You didn't know her! You didn't know her life! What she'd been through! Fortunately before any of that could leave her mouth (probably in some half-coherent mess), Caroline thanked her for respecting her privacy. Rather than a slur of protesting words, the hermit smiled and gave Caroline a thumbs up. Even if the woman wasn't looking at her right then.
Lelianna, you hopeless hippie.
It was becoming harder to focus now. Sure Lelianna was still trying...Well as much as she could at the moment, give her some credit. At least she hadn't passed out upon face-plant like last time. Still in her current state she didn't see the surprise that played across Caroline's features. Much like how she'd missed the blush earlier. It was kind of hard to when one's eyelids kept fluttering down and obscuring the view. Still, she could hear at least. "Hey, you've been a lot of help. I have someone to talk to that doesn't speak in grunts. Lemme tell ya, it's hard to decipher between one or the other." yeah her words were definitely coming out mainly as mumbles now. However she still managed to flash Caroline a smile. "But thanks Caro. An' thanks for being my neighbor." Another yawn interrupted her as she curled up further. "It's really nice..."
With that the hermit's endurance was up. The late day sun still felt warm and comforting on her skin. Combined with her exhaustion from earlier, she'd simply reached the end of her rope. Eyelids finally sealing shut, the magi once more ended up passing out beside her friend in the flower field. Yeah, relaxed was a word for it.
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