Ah! My....God? | C

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[attr="class","animal"]When Sesha had walked into the Temple grounds with a half-assed plan to pray to the God of death in hopes of an appearance…he hadn’t actually planned for anything to happen. Hell, he’d expected to sit here for a few minutes and then go home…after all what would a God want with him? However, that hadn’t stopped him from properly honoring one of the God’s he followed and respected. After all, Tatara was technically where they all began and where they all returned to at the end. Perhaps it’d been a little unfaithful to not totally believe the God would appear, that any God would actually appear but Sesha had been let down enough that he no longer held high expectations.

That was probably why when he looked towards the sound and saw a goat-legged male his first thought had been Magi and not a God, let along Tatara. However, when he took in the three eyes his thought process stopped and he was very aware that he didn’t know one Magi child or adult that could have or did have three eyes. He could feel his eyes widening a bit as he looked at what could only be Tatara as the God swallowed one peach whole before speaking…The first words uttered to him caught him so off guard that he answered without prompt out of pure reaction. “It’s from a peach tree.” Somewhere in the back of his mind he could hear his mother scolding him about staring…let alone staring at a God of all things. Could he be cursed for that? Did they consider it rude?

Sesha blinked in surprise at the gentle smile directed at him and the comment about his wellbeing. How long had it been since someone smiled kindly at him like that? He was finally snapped out of his awed but surprised staring when the God seemed to…playfully? Comment on it. Instinctively he shook himself from his stupor and glanced away, scowling at a patch of grass as his shoulder’s lifted slightly but defensively. A mild heat touching his ears told him that he should be thankful that his skin was of a darker complexion so that his embarrassment wasn’t too obvious.

After a second of getting himself together he mustered up his politest tones and asked tentatively, “And…How does the God of Death fair?” He felt awkward…and clumsy…he hated it.

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[attr="class","animal"]It sent a sliver of contentment through the Water Magi to know that Tatara seemed to like and appreciate his offering. It allowed him to relax a bit and he smoothly went from kneeling before the small-ish god to sitting cross-legged. His head tilted slightly to the side as he studied the Divine Being in front of him. He’d heard all the tales of what the Death God was supposed to look like but it was mildly surprising to see how wrong they all, if not most, were. He had no doubt that he’d guard this moment of blessing closely and cherish it. The meeting was almost enough to make him forget just what he’d come here for, the wonder of meeting his first God. It made him briefly wonder what Arithelia would be like and if his prayers would ever reach her if he tried. For a second, a fierce desire to try filled him before he tempered it and tucked it away for later examining.

What made his attention completely zero in on the Death God was his name rolling off of Tatara’s lips. It made the hairs on the back of his neck and along his arms raise with gooseflesh, wariness entering him as his eyes flickered around. He hadn’t been called Sesha in a very long time, he’d begun to call himself and have people call him Drayce for so long that his actual name sounded foreign to his own ears. Foreign and dangerous.

Sesha was taken off guard when the soft expression became rather serious and the light tones became serious along with it wen Tatara spoke up once more. Once again his shoulder’s hiking up in a defensive manner when all three of the God’s eyes focused on him so intently and he unthinkingly dropped his gaze to his lap. His lip curling only for a second to reveal a brief but uneasy flash of elongated canines at the God’s question and joking jibe. The aquatic reptilian allowed a finger to brush against a scale peeking out from under the rolled up jacket sleeve, the touch soothing him a bit that his shoulder’s dropped the slightest. After a moment or two he dipped his head in agreement and confirmation that there was more.

His golden gaze flickered up to meet Tatara’s, round pupils thinning into slits as he shifted uneasily where he sat. He’d had suspicions ever since he started taking note of Gods that visited mortals and seeing Tatara sitting before him just solidified his suspicions but he had to ask. He had to know… “I’m alive…that place was burning and I was under those floorboards and no amount of water a child of eleven could summon should have saved me.” The slightest hint of hurt accusation entered is tone towards the end, making it a bit sharper than intended. Sesha cleared his throat and dropped his gaze, feeling something curdling in his chest as he forced the next words out even as his voice began to die. “Was I supposed to…?”

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[attr="class","animal"]Strange? Was it strange that he missed his parents? Was it strange that he wished he hadn’t survived that fire? He could barely remember the reason why now that he’d even tried to survive. He had nothing here and now. No one he could trust. No respect. Nothing that made his current way of life worth baring. He was going through the day to day routine only for the few Magi children he found milling about the streets that needed someone to care for them. They were the only tie still keeping him here and his two feet firmly planted on the ground. If he could he’d have probably long gone from here…but then what? Unthinkingly, his lip curled in an unconscious display of anger as he replied in low growly tones. “Strange? In what way is it strange for someone to miss their parents when they were taken from them so young? When they were forced to live on the street and grow up far quicker than they should of?”

Bitterness…

He was finally able to put a name to the emotion curdling in his chest and filling his mouth with an acrid taste as he listened to the Divine Being. Did they understand? Could Gods understand the utter loss and immobilizing grief?

Sesha could still clearly remember nights where he’d crawled into alleys or holes and curl up. Nights where his ribs ached from beatings by adults or older children or even hunger. Nights where his stomach clawed at his insides and he’d woken up with a delirious fever. Days where he could hardly move and was seconds away from begging even the terrifying Kupiec for mercy. Times were he’d wished for death if it ended his suffering. You would think his life was better now…but there were still nights where hunger clawed at him or where he couldn’t get money because someone refused to higher him once they spotted his Magi attributes.

Was he dissatisfied with his current situation? “You fucking bet I am.”

The nearly hissed remark startled Sesha a little with the venom laced in it. However, once he was started it wasn’t likely that he was going to stop. “What person would be satisfied just barely scraping by? With the memory of their parents screaming? Who would be satisfied with knowing there are children starving and they can’t do a damn thing to ease their suffering?”

It was a clawing in his chest, a sensation mixed with the bitterness clawing at his throat. It demanded he lash out, it demanded he cause harm to anyone in attempt to ease his own suffering. He gritted his teeth as he growled out, “Would you know what that’s even like?”

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[attr="class","animal"]Some part of him realized that he was lashing out at a God. Some part of him questioned the intelligence of that decision considering this was the God of Death. The bigger part of him that had been holding this in for Aritherlia knew how long was simply relieved to finally let it out and get it off his chest. He’d been alone for so long, hadn’t had anyone to complain to or lean against since his parents that everything had simply boiled up in him and festered. Now to have a God in front of him that was willing to give answers and show up…it was like a damn had broken. Everything inside was just scrabbling to get out and make itself known. Perhaps this had also played a part in his indifference to his life and why he’d always welcome death if it came for him.

Momentarily his angry was disrupted by the apology and reasoning given by the God of Death. It wasn’t something he’d expect from a Divine being and Tatara was managing to be nothing like he’d expect a God to be. Callous? Perhaps. Indifferent? Definitely. Angry? Absolutely. However, it was surprising that instead he was getting an apology and a reason for his thought process, a reason for saying the word ‘strange’ in such a context.

Of course, then he stood and while this visage of Tatara wasn’t very tall or menacing there was something about him that screamed ‘Danger’ to Sesha’s baser instincts. Something that warned him away and made his shoulder’s lift defensively again as wariness entered his reptilian gaze. Of course, he bristled when he was suddenly called selfish by the God and a low angry noise rumbled in his chest but he didn’t let it rise farther. He wasn’t generally a disrespectful person…not to those who’d earned his respect and for all his anger the harbinger of loss was not someone who deserved disrespect. However, that didn’t stop him from glaring at the Divine being like some child scolded for something they didn’t think they deserved to be scolded for.

However, his anger was knocked off course once more when Tatara brought up the children. Children he’d given his all to make their lives at least a little easier so they wouldn’t end up as bitter and angry as he, himself, was. He wondered…who would care for them if he was not there? It was true that once in a while he saw signs of others leaving things…but did anyone actually care? Did anyone try to tame them and show them that there were other ways to live? That Magi were to be proud of their heritage and not hidden away? Terrified of what Society would do to them? It made him sober slightly and drop the glare down to a subdued scowl that was aimed at his hands once more. The idea that he kept the children from ending up like him, kept them from dying or even wishing to perish and sparing the God of Death that was…a relief oddly. They were so few that the thought of any Magi child dying was…agonizing, especially if it was one he’d begun to care for.

Sesha startled slightly when as the Divine being spoke…a small hand patted his head and he looked up at Tatara. Slitted gaze slowly dilating back to normal round pupils as he listened to Tatara speak with a slightly calmer expression even if he still scowled at the God. “I’m not bitter at you…I am bitter at society and what they’re turning us into.” He grumbled lightly, moody gaze sliding away even as he snorted softly and muttered, “Yes, our Goddess is proud indeed. Proud of a dying race that might as well be in danger of going extinct with the way the Goddess of the Hunt’s hunters are killing us off.”

His golden gaze flickered towards Tatara for moment before he said uncertainly, “I am but one Magi. I can’t do what my father did. I can barely take care of the children let alone myself…I don’t even have my name anymore.” He snorted softly, “I am a sheep among sheep. What could someone like me do to help you?” The water Magi stayed quiet for a time before he looked at the God searchingly…pondering upon his words before he asked uncertainly, “Do I really help the children?”

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[attr="class","animal"] The brunet was taken off guard slightly when the word ‘bitch’ came out of the God’s mouth seeing as he hadn’t really expected any God to say the curse. It was almost enough for his lip to quirk up for a second as amusement tried to settle in his chest knowing not even the God’s entirely approved if one was willing to call her a ‘bitch’ of all things. He vaguely wondered what the Goddess of Hunt was like but remembering all the lives her Hunters had taken and what had happened to himself as well…he decided against wanting to ever find out. He’d probably lose his temper and manage in getting himself killed when this God seemed to go to quite a few lengths to keep him alive.

He was surprised completely when after making his comment about Arithelia, Tatara tapped him with his knuckle on his head. Sesha couldn’t help that once again he was feeling like a little child being scolded by their parent and he glanced away from the God of death, letting out a low conceding grumble.

Sesha’s gaze however, flickered back towards the God when he began to speak, noting that he seemed a little torn between saying something and not saying something. At his praise about his success with the children, Sesha couldn’t help feeling a little pleased with himself even if he gave the God a skeptical look. He could only hope that Tatara was right and he wasn’t doing more damage to them as he tried to care for them. However, it was a relief to know that Tatara didn’t want to treat him like his father or pick up where his father had left off. From what he had remembered from the man his father was a man who had cried silently as he was forced to saw off his wife’s wings. He was also the man who stood in front of the door to their home with a hard gaze as well as a stiff stance while Hunters banged at their doors and his wife hid their child beneath their floorboards. Sesha was still searching for who he was…but his father had known who he was. He could not be his father.

The aquatic magi was jolted out of his thoughts at Tatara’s next words, his eyes widening with visible surprise at the news that Arithelia was among the mortals. At the news that she was in the form of a child shock turned to anger and he gritted his teeth. This had to have something to do with the lack of Magi as of late, with why Kalidas had grown so powerful and now to know that his Goddess was vulnerable while the Hunter’s Goddess was…

“Do you know where she is? How I could find her?” Sesha had taken up the duty of protecting the young to the best of his ability. They were his in all but blood and he wouldn’t hesitate to protect his Goddess, not even if she hadn’t been in child form. She would be added into that list of those he’d protect and so he replied easily, “There are no questions when it comes to the children and Arithelia. The children need protection so I will protect them. Arithelia is my Goddess so I will worship her…and if she desires it, I will protect her.” His love of children and his goddess, his desire to protect them had never swayed or been second guessed…it was his purpose he had questioned. His reason for still being alive.

However,…if he was allowed this. If he was given this purpose…he wouldn’t hesitate and even if Arithelia did not want it he would find some way to help her. He frowned slightly and looked back up at Tatara from where his gaze had fallen thoughtfully to the altar, “How could this have happened? How did she come about being among mortals as a child?”

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[attr="class","animal"]Sesha was mildly surprised by the somewhat vague answer he received from the God, a small huff escaping him as he ran his hand roughly through his hair. While he was fairly good at happening upon Magi children, this was a Goddess in child form he was supposed to find. He doubted it was going to be so simple, especially if she’d gone a while without being found. However, he supposed that’s what made it that much more urgent that she find someone to find her. Was she powerless? Was she weak? Had someone done that to her? He’d of course heard the tales about Gods and getting their power from worship, he’d also heard about how things had turned against Magi. Fear. It was such a simple thing and yet it had caused so much damage.

It was only a slight relief when he heard that she was residing within the city but before he could ask which City, the other God made it quite clear he’d be unable to answer any more questions. Sesha wondered how many rules he’d broken just by telling him as much as he had and pushing him into this direction. It left the brunet reeling a bit to know the God of Death had perhaps broken a few rules by telling him what he had…he was well aware that death usually attempted to remain neutral in these decisions. It also left Sesha wondering just how bad things were that Death was actually willing to bend his own rules enough to give a mortal like him direction in the form of revealing Arithelia’s current predicament.

His gaze flickered up and once more rested on Tatara when the God mentioned Kalidas and her children. A scowl, dark and fierce, marred his features for a moment before it smoothed out and he spoke up blandly. “I pity them if they do lay a hand on her.” There was a low thrum to his voice, a threat of violence that promised pain. While he generally tried to avoid having eyes on him, he’d fought against Hunters before and he wouldn’t hesitate to do it again. His gaze briefly flickering to reptilian slits was the only other sign that his anger was still there, bubbling under the surface and away from inquiring eyes. Briefly he wondered what people would see if they were to stumble upon him here…if they would even see anyone at all? It was a good thing he’d decided to do this in a rather secluded area. Absently he asked, “Could she answer a prayer like you answered mine?” He knew he should probably stop asking questions about Arithelia but it’d be helpful if he could at least know that much.

The aquatic Magi was slightly bemused when he heard Tatara’s musings about the peaches…however it brought a thoughtful expression to his face. “Considering the people fear death…Do you get worshipped often?” His head tilted to the side slightly before he asked more, “Do you often get offerings you like? Like the peaches?” Perhaps…depending on the God’s answer he’d offer up more prayers and offerings to appease the God as well as thank Tatara.